well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
