I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Boobs are out for the taking
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
