If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
