Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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