Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My balls are so social today.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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