I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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