Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
