I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
