Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
