Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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