Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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