big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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