Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
