It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
