At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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