im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
