he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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