Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
