I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
