I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize