Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I pour the whiskey from now on
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
