so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My vagina just recognized that song.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
