he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
