Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
