Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize