# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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