I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
