I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
