So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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