your room smells of hookers.
And success
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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