There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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