sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
