My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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