What a fucking waste of an outfit
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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