Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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