super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
