Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
accomplished twins. life is a go
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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