is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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