i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
