Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
