Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
