Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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