I am puke
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
