I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
