it was like his penis was on wheels.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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