I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
