And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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