he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
