Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
