I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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