brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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