i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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