the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My dick has a subreddit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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