I think I am morally bankrupt
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
