I cockslap morals
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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