How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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