My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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