He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
