She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
