i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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