Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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