i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
