Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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